Dear Lifehacker (After Hours),
My girlfriend and I are tired of having to remember where our bottle of lube is and worrying that we knocked it onto the floor. We bought a Purell NXT dispenser to mount on the wall above our bed that we can reach to for more lube, but the soap-bags you use to fill a Purell dispenser don't let you fill them with a different substance. Any ideas for wall-mount lube dispensers, or is there a better option?
Sincerely,
Lots of Lube
Dear LoL,
You're in luck! There are plenty of ways to mount lube to your wall, bed, dresser, or pretty much wherever you like. Presuming you're okay with people seeing a giant lube dispenser should they ever enter your bedroom, there are ways to make your dream a reality. Alternatively, some creative solutions can give you quick access with a little more discretion.
The Best Permanent Mount
Let's just start off with the best: the Simple Human Stainless Steel Wall-Mount Pumps. You can get a single pump for $30, and all the way up to three pumps for a little over $60. Hopefully one will do, but if you like to vary up your lubricant options you certainly can. Simple Human's product wasn't created to dispense sex lotion, but it was created to dispense actual lotion. And hair conditione, which—bonus tip!—can make a good sexual lubricant under the right circumstances. You just pour your lube in the top, pull the level, and it falls right into your hand. You can even take the pump off the wall to refill in any position you want. The downside? The wall mount is incredibly adhesive and is not easy to remove. If you ever need to get it off, buy some spackle and paint—you're going to need it.
A Simple, Cheap, and Semi-Discrete Option
Perhaps you don't want your lube out in the open whenever guests come by. While you can remove the Simple Human option mentioned earlier, you can't really set it down anywhere for long periods of time without the risk of your precious lube seeping out of the pump. A clever alternative? Mount a cup holder on the wall. For even less money and effort, you can just hang a cup holder on the edge of the bed or a nightstand drawer and use it to hold your lube dispenser. This only works if the lube you love is available in a soap pump-style bottle, or can be placed in one, but what lube can't? You might just have to squeeze a little. The major advantage, aside from cost savings, is that you can put the lube away when guests come by.
The Most Simple and Discrete Option
If you want a completely removable option, you should check out GoToobes. They're made for virtually any kind of liquid and have suction cups on the back so you can stick them most anywhere you find convenient. The large ones only hold three ounces at a time, but you generally have to buy them in packs of three so you could fill them all and rotate as needed. Not only does this give you a simple option, but a versatile one as well. Don't want to wall mount it one day? Keep it in a drawer? Need it on the other side of the room or on the laundry machine or inside the refrigerator? We're not judging—just move it! It's sexual lubricant where you need it, mounted virtually anywhere for your convenience. Plus you can get these things through TSA screenings so they make for good travel buddies regardless of what's inside.
One of these options should suit your needs, depending on the kind of sex you have an how ready and willing you are to advertise that. They all have their ups and downs, but nothing worse than losing the mood because you have to constantly stop and make sure everything is properly oiled up. Regardless of what you pick, enjoy, and have some smooth fun!
Love,
Lifehacker (After Hours)
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